Seeing the world through a multi-cultural lens
I was born in Sydney Australia, and spent my formative years in Samoa. At the age of nine I returned to Australia with zero English, okay well two words “Yes and No” At first learning to speak English was difficult because we were fluent in Samoan and my sisters, and I would silently converse with one another as we were not allowed to speak Samoan at home or anywhere. Our mother wanted us to learn English pronto. I found reading books catapulted my English and I began to use reading as an escapism and a way to improve my language skills. Soon, I became accustomed to the language, the Aussie culture, and the lingo. I considered myself a true blue Aussie (still do).
As I came into adolescence, I experienced some racism but it didn’t deter me, I just felt it was their problem not mine. In retrospect this was a good mindset to have for a young adult. Other than my Samoan culture I loved being an Aussie. When I met my now husband this opened my eyes to a whole new Australia I had not seen before or maybe it was there, but I never paid attention.
My husband is Samoan with Chinese heritage, his built like a true Samoan. He is covered in traditional Tatau (tattoo) which he always covers up and has dreadlocks. When we first went out to dinner at a popular spot in Chapel Street Melbourne, I recall he was quite nervous when we walked in. I asked him if he was okay which he nodded, and we continued with the evening. This happened all the time when we walked into a restaurant, he would be sweating buckets by the time we sat down. He finally stated, “don’t you see, everyone staring when we walk in?” Blissfully unaware, I told him it’s because he was an attractive islander with dreadlocks and tattoos. We factored in whether social anxiety was an element and concluded it wasn't that at all. It was happening everywhere.
We now live in Brisbane as years went by this became frequent for us, every time we would occupy a space people would turn around stare and continue to stare until we were eating or out of sight. Most times we would be racially profiled by older men and women who would see us and grab their bags as if to hide it from our ‘prying eyes’. I felt hurt as if I was being betrayed by my own people, the frustrating part is the constant staring as if they’ve never seen human beings before. My family walked in recently to have lunch at our local and we were greeted with the usual stare down. Interestingly as we started to eat, I noticed everyone was staring towards the entrance and when I turned around it was a young African family waiting to be seated. So there you have it, it’s not just us, it happens to people from other cultures also.
The stereotype is real. Recently I organized a school activity for my son to do and it was ukulele class. One of the mums approached me and asked me if the teacher was my husband. I looked at her and said “No”. It made me angry and I thought if he was white and I asked her if that was her husband, she would have looked at me thinking hmmm that’s a strange question to ask. There are countless times where this has happened. We continuously are asked, “how about that game last night?” insinuating we like to watch rugby because we are islanders. The one I’ll never forget is when I attended a local gym and I was asked by the trainer, “so are you going out for KFC after this?” To my surprise I looked at her and asked, “Why would you ask me that?” and she stated, “I don’t know, don’t all islanders love KFC?”. I stated, “No, I prefer pizza!”. Another prime example was when my husband noticed an older couple parked on the side of the road with car troubles, my husband was the only person that stopped and asked if they needed help. My husband stated, ‘the lady in the passenger side took one look at him and grabbed her bag” my husband came away looking frustrated and angry, rightfully so.
White privilege is a term that rings true. We are aware that when we enter a space, we are highly likely to be targeted, racially profiled against or stereotyped. I asked my white Australian middle aged female friend if she thinks about the aforementioned when she enters a shop and she mentioned ‘no’ she just walks in does what she needs and everything is hunky dory. My point exactly!
My son is now 12 years of age and I have been intentional in teaching him about racial profiling and racism from the age of four. I believe it’s important for parents of diverse culture or are intermarried into one, to have that conversation with your child, because it brings awareness and helps them to make sense of how sometimes people have a distorted worldview of cultures they don’t understand. It also helps them to remove their own stereotype of other cultures and enables for a more open dialogue of acceptance and respect. Australia still has a long way to go and I’m not sure we’re making any real progress.
My advise to you if you recognize yourself in some of what I have written is, “ Please, STOP 🛑 Staring”. Research on different cultures in your area and be well informed. Not every islander likes rugby and KFC so stop assuming, in fact stop assuming altogether. We’re not thieves we are just minding our own business like everyone else or sometimes we are trying to offer a helping hand, something that is an integral part of our culture. When you remove your classical conditioned lenses of stereotype you'll see that we are extremely friendly people, we value our family, faith and education importantly we respect others.
